Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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