Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i think i have two assholes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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