hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
