Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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