when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
