I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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