awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Girls should come with a carfax report
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
