It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
