Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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