I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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