That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
