Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
