u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
