I wish I could punch you in the face.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
