well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
