ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh god the rape fog is back!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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