No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
