I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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