Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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