this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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