If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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