You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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