I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
