we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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