Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Randomize
