Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
