Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
