Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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