I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
