My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
