Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
