This is not my ceiling
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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