halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
