you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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