Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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