Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
