she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
