Do you still have your period?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
