Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He better not be in your backpack
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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