she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
