Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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