Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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