Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
