True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
