is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
what day is it and did you see me today?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
