I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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