Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
