How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
