He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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