So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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