Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
