so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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